Some chairs I found just laying around the studio files.  Seemed a shame for them to be collecting dust like that.  Many thanks to Denise Morocco of Kent Interiors and congratulations, Denise, on your new web site.

Prepare to be all over the place.  If you are new here, check out the history of the Stand-in here or here.

I’ve had this post hanging around for a while.  I decided to get this up today because Gnome has had a lot of action in the last 24 hours.  DUG’s parents came over for dinner Sunday – for the first time.  Did you hear that, Internet?  His parents came over for dinner for the first time.  And everything’s fine.  Nothing burned down.  Nothing exploded.  No one cried or ran screaming.  And no one took out a white glove.  See Diana.  I told you it would be fine.

Anyhoo…  In the midst of the wonderful day we spent together, we re-lived the story of how Gnome Chomsky came to reside with me in Black Rock.

DUG is the notorious White Elephant gifter at his office.  Messily wrapped, gigantic, carrot-noses poking holes through paper are his trademark.  Every year the people of the St. John’s (home of the Red Storm – go me! sport!) Athletics Department await his gift with bated breath.  Or so he says. In fact, it’s summer and he’s already trolling through our local Home Goods for the most… uh… well… I don’t want to put words in his mouth here (creepy, tacky, completely useless, gargantuan, and dare I say unsightly…) because one never really knows how he chooses – it’s an art.  Let me just tell you that one year was a giant, ungainly, snowman head, made of pantyhose and sadly missing some of the actual coal hot glued on as a smiling mouth.  Crafty as I am, I was unable to come up with replacement coal in time for the gift giving extravaganza (12 hours later).  Where does one get coal these days?

So, one holiday, DUG procured Gnome while I was picking up some things for the house.  On the day of the gift exchange, Gnome was still in my living room.  Far, far away from the Queens campus of St. John’s.  Have no fear!  DUG ran a few quick errands and had satisfactorily replace Gnome with I-know-not-what.

This thing is staying in my house?!  Get. It. Out. My house of no storage – no basement, no attic, not even a spare closet?  Yes.  In a corner that could not be more perfect in dimension and design, there Gnome lived for 365 days.  And then it happened.  DUG needed a new gift for the gift exchange.  “Shall I give Gnome?” he asked.  Well, it was more more like, “mumble, mumble, Gnome? Or should I find something else and leave him there?”  And I was all “GNOME?!  You can’t take my Gnome! With his awesome and crazy eyebrows!  Who will stare at me creepily when you are not here?!!” And he was all, “Ha, ha! I have won you over with my amazing taste and extraordinary gift giving skills.” (or something like that.)

So now we are going on a couple of years and Gnome is a vital member of the family home.  Good story, yes?

Then.  After DUG’s parents have gone home.  And the story of how Gnome came to be was shared.  As if that weren’t enough attention for one Gnome.  At approximately 8:45 pm, Chewbaca Scotto, lifted his teeny, tiny little leg, and yes folks, PEED ON GNOME’s FEET.  (see above for aforementioned feet.)  Gnome’s still recovering from the shock and betrayal of it all.

Ahem.  Remember we are here for the Stand-in?  I warned you about the all over the place.  Here’s Little Miss A, the real deal on that shoot.  The one where Gnome came in handy. For the very first time.

Interior shoots with Yvonne are always fun, as well as inspiring for my personal projects. Glad to see some of our images making the rounds.  Check out more of Yvonne’s work.  She’s creating an amazing portfolio and I am honored to be a part of it.

Thanks, CawfeeGuy, for all the fun, love and laughter over the years. You are all that, and a bag of chips. Mmmmm. Chips.  Wishing you the Happiest of Birthdays!  (Instead of mini-golf, this probably should have been a Prom picture of us from all those years ago, but then we’d all have to revisit that 80′s/90′s hair and those drapes I borrowed from a neighbor to saunter around in all night.) xoxo

The Hottie Husband

The Cutie Kid

So after sitting at the facility in Stratford (CT 95 Exit 30) for 3 days, FedEx finally got the memo from Apple to re-route my new iPhone4 to Norwalk (CT 95 Exit 15) – because, you know, the pick up facility is only open from 9am-6pm, and many working human beings can not get there during ‘normal business hours’ because, hey, they are involved in ‘normal business’.

Right now my phone is in a FedEx facility in NEWARK NJ because, of course, THE CLEAREST ROUTE TO SOUTH NORWALK, CONNECTICUT FROM A TOWN 15 MILES AWAY IS VIA THE GARDEN STATE.

Let’s you and I not discuss the possibility that when I actually receive the phone, I may have to make calls while contorted like a pretzel in order to achieve optimal reception.

iPhone photo op

Apparently it’s Birthday Week over here at Sequined Asphault Studio.  Everyone seems to be aging except me – how fortuitous!

Wishing you the Happiest of Birthdays, Dug!  Thank you for 2 wonderful years. Words cannot express my gratitude for the hope and excitement of what’s to come…

Life with these 2 characters around is a whole different universe.

Although it served it’s test lighting purposes perfectly, this particular stand-in clearly does not do Maria justice.  It is, however, my favorite piece of clothing I acquired last winter.  If you see me with any regularity, you are already sick of this sweater.  I will continue to wear this sweater until if frays to pieces regardless of the amount of hand-me-down clothing you bring to my house (you know who you are and feel free to do a drop off at any time).

Crystal is an avid photographer and there are plenty of beautiful baby pictures of her nephews throughout her meticulous albums.  But I thought I would pass along some of the hard earned ‘tips’ we gathered from my first baby photo shoot just in case.

Things We Learned About Photographing Babies: An Illustrated List
originally posted 24 April 2007 at 1:43 am (when I was still young and a night owl)

I don’t know much, Internet. But now I know this:

If a child cannot yet sit up on her/his own, willing said child to stay upright by scrunching shoulders and shouting "Come on Little A, you can do it!" will not work.

Also, it's probably not a good idea to hope with all your might that a baby will be able to sit upright independently for the very first time on a hard surface, such as a drafting table, por ejemplo. (We'll deal with that washcloth issue in a moment.)

Not to beat a dead horse, but if you decide to hold the baby up with your hand and arm (are you sensing a theme here?) , your hand and arm will be in the photograph.

Do not give a baby anything to play with that you do not want in the actual photo. Unless of course you are a whiz at redrawing an entire child in Photoshop, thus alleviating the need for a photo shoot in the first place.

If a surface is so uncomfortable that you do not want to lay or sit on it, do not expect a squishy little 6-month old to be happy about laying on it either.

If you wait until a baby falls asleep, you might be able to take a picture when s/he is not moving. Maybe.

When you need a break, feel free to shoot stuffed animal porn. Parents will find it as funny as you do. Well, some parents. Definitely not all parents.

There will always be drool.

Thankfully, they weren't all out-takes...

Avery got acquainted with faux fur...

And we all laughed a lot.

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